Lessons in Confidence

When a person is naturally good at something, it can be difficult to differentiate between arrogance and confidence…until a person is really challenged. Challenges will quickly identify how decisions are made, and one has to hope it is confidence that is backing up the decision, as confidence is built on success and experience…arrogance is inflated based on self-perceived accomplishments.

On Saturday, I had my first of two lessons in confidence. As long as I have watched World’s Strongest Man, I have been impressed by the Atlas Stones. The thought of lifting big balls of stone seemed unfathomable, and when I first attempted a 215 pound stone a few weeks ago, I struggled to lift it. The following week, I learned what I was doing wrong with the actual lift as well as where I had positioned myself in relation to the bar I was to lift the stone over. After 2 successes, with increased ease on the 2nd day of trying the stones, I had more confidence in my knowledge and experience in how to lift the stone, so I found quick success on my attempt with the 215 stone. Since a 260 lb stone had just been acquired, I was able to approach the stone with more confidence (and Spider Tack for my grip), and I was successful on the stone.  A week before, I made a timid attempt at the lift, but I lacked the confidence and experience to be successful. Lifting the 260 lb stone made me feel outstanding and like the day’s lifting had been outstanding.

Today (Monday), I learned the other side of the coin…arrogance parading as confidence. We were back in the weight room doing deadlifts and squats, neither of which I am well-trained in yet; however, for years, my raw strength has allowed me to lift things I shouldn’t have attempted. After a great lesson in deadlifts (which I still need to practice my form even without weight), we moved on to squats. The program for the day was 5 sets of 3 reps at 90% of our maximum effort from our first week. With deadlifts, if a weight is too heavy, usually it doesn’t make it off the ground.  With squats, too heavy of a weight makes you thankful for a good spotter, especially if you are lifting with arrogance instead of confidence.

Do More Squats for Confidence

For choosing the weight with which to begin for squat, I did a rough estimate of 90% in my head and rounded up, which was a mistake of arrogance. I had figured that my max possibly would have been higher if I was more confident in my squat, so I should be fine with a slightly higher weight. I completed my first rep, but when I started to come back up on the 2nd rep, I hinged at the waist, which caused me to lose focus and form for the lift. My spotter had to help me the rest of the way up. I dropped 20 lbs from the weight for my next set, but after the 1st rep, I had no confidence in my lift, so Dave advised me that if there is a doubt of whether or not the lift is possible, don’t risk it. I racked the weight. I finished the next 3 sets at a weight that was 80 lbs lighter than what I initially tried. It was likely too light to have given me the challenge Dave was looking for us to achieve, but it was necessary to rebuild confidence in the lift. After the sets, Dave took a few moments to chat with me about strategy in the weight room, and the same lesson can be applied to life. The basic moral of the message was, “Find success first. Use the experience and knowledge from the successes to build confidence in your ability.With confidence built on successful experiences and knowledge, a person can more legitimately approach new challenges knowing what made them successful before and what caused them to fail.”

I had let arrogance get the best of me today, but it did teach me a valuable lesson. Now, I have a plan for determining weights. I will be conservative with the first set or two until I am ready to challenge myself to where I need to be. With more experience, I will eventually know my limits sooner than I currently do, but I need to remember to make confident, not arrogant, decisions.

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